3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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