every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
