I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
