Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
