They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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