My friends, they love my intelligence
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste