At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
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Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
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I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.