Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
