You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
