I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
