so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
