Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
