Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize