She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize