Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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