What did we do last night that was yellow?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
