My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
