I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
