Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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