awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
