my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
what day is it and did you see me today?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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