i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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