we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The air was thick with penises
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
