a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i already hear my dad disowning me
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
