The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
