Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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