I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
