Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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