i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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