VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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