even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
