There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
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Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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