so explain again why im purple
no
Someone shit on the floor
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
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