i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
