you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
