My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
