What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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