And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
