dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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