Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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