I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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