How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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