porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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