I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
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i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
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Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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