So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
