forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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