I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
