omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
what the fuck happened to the tacos
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
