I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
