Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize