i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
