Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
