Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
this just has baby written all over it
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
The Olympian is in my bed
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
