3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
