Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
