I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
