He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
