the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Randomize
