when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize