There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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