Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I want her autograph on my taint
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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